MTV Movie Awards: The play-by-play

Co-stars Jason Bateman and Charlie Day. They're ripping his hosting abilities as a gag, but they're actually spot-on. Wait, did he just say he's going to be a dad soon? Was that a tongue-in-cheek admission of paternity for ex January Jones' baby? Stop the presses!

- 10:34: And now even more non-movie additions to the show: Lupe Fiasco performs with some help from Trey Songz.

- 10:32: Interesting presenting duo that have nothing to do with movies : Nicki Minaj and Ashton Kutcher. Whatever it takes, huh, MTV? Best female performance goes to Kristen Stewart.

- 10:25: Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel have a funny butt-dialing gag going as they present the best line from a movie award. The "I want to get chocolate wasted" girl from Grown Ups spoof is actually pretty funny. Sudeikis needs some high points in this show. Tyrese is the perfect straight man.

- 10:15: "I have the three most ridiculous people on planet Earth giving me this award!" Witherspoon says sweetly, then she launches into the raunch. She takes digs at Handler, Blake Lively, reality stars and tells Pattinson he messed up his own joke: he should have said he's the best motherf-----. Ballsy, Reese, real ballsy.

- 10:09: Should we call this The Awkward Robert Pattinson Show movie.

- 9:58: And the best kiss goes to Stewart and Pattinson. She's awkwardly clearing her throat as she watches her man lay one on Taylor Lautner -- then friskily pull her backstage.

- 9:56: Sudeikis pulled off a Ryan Reynolds butterface joke and a Blake Lively nude pics joke in one fell swoop. Nice. Totally makes up for horrible theme songs skit.

- 9:52: Sudeikis has moved on to the singing portion of the night. He hasn't been super funny yet, but maybe these movie theme songs will get a few laughs. Wow the lip-synching track is waaaaaaaaaaay off. Emma Stone seems genuinely over it.

- 9:46: Another Twilight . Perfect pairing him -- and his cornrow wig -- with Danny McBride, too. The Biebz surprises everyone by appearing to accept his best jaw-dropping moment award. "I couldn't let down my fans," he explains in his electric blue blazer.

- 9:34: Captain America in the house! Chris Evans looks fresh-faced and squeaky clean as he steps up to present in a '50s-style jacket.